


The word love has no meaning

by Blank_Is_typing



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Park Sungjin - Freeform, mentioned Kim Wonpil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 16:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18076688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blank_Is_typing/pseuds/Blank_Is_typing
Summary: The phrase I love you you is just a cop out word when you're just trying to get out of something. The phrase was always associated with fake smiles and dead eyes. At least that's how Park Jaehyung always saw it.





	The word love has no meaning

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally closed the tab without saving so I had to write this all over again

_I love you_.

ugh, Jae despised that word.

Who decided to turn a complex series of emotions into a simple word that had been repeated so many times it had about as much weight as a stamp. Jae wanted to tell them personally what an idiot they were. 

A feeling that was supposed to be indescribable, turned to a simple phase that quickly lost importance in his life. 

Maybe it was when he had to say it to his over judgmental family who didn't know a damn thing about him. If hearing a half-hearted confession from someone you've met thrice in your life brings you joy. You are a sad lonely person.

Or maybe it was the time he said it to his highschool girlfriend. The only reason he did was to keep her quiet, like those 3 words were enough to make her stop bitching about him not caring for her. He hated that, her entire self esteem was based on a phrase that could be said by anyone with a basic understanding of language. 

It wasn't until he me Kang Younghyun, more affectionately know as Brian to him, that he realized love could be a beautiful thing. 

It was the small phases of English that seemed to creep through the almost overwhelming Korean that filled his ears when he first arrived. The warm smile on Brians face as he introduced himself. The late night talks about that one part of the song that Jae couldn't seem to figure out.

It was sitting between Jae and Wonpil when the second youngest felt a little too clingy for Jae to handle. The silent conversations he had with Sungjin from across the room as they witnessed the casual affection of the younger members. 

It was the bright pink spots on Brians cheeks as he mumbled the request of getting coffee with him the next time they had a break in their schedule, and it was the wave of emotions that washed over him as they had their first kiss.

But that just made Jae hate the word more, because that's what it should mean to him, all the times he felt truly cared for and appreciated, all the moments that made him feel safe and warm inside.

Not the terrified little boy who had to walk up to his relatives and mutter it with a quick hug to keep their prying eyes off of him. Or the closeted teenager who had to say it to his crying girlfriend because she hated herself more that words could express. Just because he couldn't say that word. Or the idol who had to say it to a crowd of people, some he knew for a fact were not worthy of such confessions. 

So when Brian turned to Jae with soft eyes and held his hand in his, he started to panic, knowing that his boyfriend was ever the hopeless romantic. 

His fears were well placed because moments later a quiet,"I love you Jaehyung," slipped past his lips.

Jae felt himself stiffen,"I...I can't describe how I feel about you with words." He wanted to punch himself for making his boyfriend look so disappointed. Like everyone did when he tried to avoid those 8 letters.

Several months had passed since then, The occasional I love you's being thrown out from time to time. Jae felt bad for not returning them but he felt like a robot every time he said it. 

The couple were having a moveie night watching some drama Brian suggested when the dreaded confession scene came up. Music played, the clouds cleared, there was a loving look in the charaters eyes as they realized the emotions they felt for each other. 

But Jae thought they were acting stupid, 3 pointless words causing all of that, maybe they hadn't heard it often so it was actually associated with good feelings. to Jae it was like the equivalent of people dating because someone said 'how's it going?'  

But the silent,"Jae?" that came from his left almost made him rethink that.

He hummed in response, signalling that he was listening. 

"Why don't you ever say you love me?" he said quietly.

A deep sigh escaped Jaes lips,"That word doesn't have meaning to me. And any meaning it does have is bad."

Brian tilted his head to the side,"What?" 

Jae felt his eyes start to sting,"I know it should be associated with our late night dates after practice, or our holding hands under the table at meetings, or even just little moments like this. But it's not, It just reminds me of when I was scared and alone. I don't feel anything when I say it but I feel something with you."

Brian wiped the stray tear from his cheek,"It's okay, I know you don't show affection traditionally, I just wanted to see if you felt the same way. And its clear that you do."

Jae nodded, still trying to keep himself from crying.

Brian smiled at him,"I know that this word doesn't mean anything to you, but I cant help but say I love you." he moved closer into Jaes embrace.

Jae automatically pulled him clser, wanting to savor the warm feeling in his chest. 

If things kept being this way, maybe the word wouldn't be so bad after all. 


End file.
